"Finding yourself," "Becoming the real you," "Fitting in,".
These, amongst so many others, are the cushy, sweet sounding sayings that our wise elders and our inspirational peers repeat to us, in their thousands of slightly different contexts. These are the things we are expected to do before we cross that wonderful bridge into adulthood, that dream that we chase of an "ah-ha!" moment where everything falls into place, and we see our "place" in this crazy world.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but all of that nice, squishy talk, yeah that's all a myth. Like it's total donkey poo. #sorrynotsorry
See, I left for Martin, TN and had these huge ideas that everything would fall into place at college, that I would "find myself," like being 700 miles away from my family was going to make me into this new person and it was going to go just like I had planned in my head. Okay, yeah, I bought into the whole fantasy, inspired by years of cheesy movies and motivational quotes.
Only, what happened is, it wasn't beautiful in the sense that I had imagined. My first 4 months were messy to say the least, I made mistakes, I cried, I broke down, I got angry, I gained weight, I got a tattoo....umm yeah... mother still isn't happy about that last one... I mean it wasn't all what sounded like the start of a police report,
I also did some really great things, things I never would have thought I was capable of. I made some amazing friends, and we made some great memories. I was brave, I was responsible, I made A's in some classes I thought I would fail, and I learned to love myself......
Oh yeah... I kinda jumped to what I meant to get at there... do you need me to back up?
Amongst all of the chaos, the turmoil, the time where there were supposed to be butterflies and rainbows and unicorns... I learned to let go of trying so hard to become the person I desperately wanted to be. I learned to love every part of the life and the body and the soul that God had given me, and although I didn't have that moment of realizing exactly what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be, I learned that it doesn't matter.
Yeah... I went there
This big, scary Earth place that we live in is constantly changing, and so are we. We can wake up each day and be a new person, so long as we love ourselves to our core. It isn't about trying to figure it all out, it's about embracing that you are basically a helpless puppy being led through life, and you're going to have a few accidents and chew up a couple shoes, but you are also really adorable and you can go ahead and learn some tricks, accept lots of treats, and frolic around chasing birds if you want, because you don't have to have it all figured out.
That is God's job.
So yes, I may be long winded, and you might be bored at this point, and wondering about that tattoo (nothing scandalous, I promise) but if you remember one thing from this blog, make it this:
You are a mess, and it is okay. Stop pressuring yourself to "get it together," and enjoy every beautiful and ugly moment in the present to the fullest, and let God worry about the rest. Be a deliriously happy puppy, because you will never have a better moment to love yourself than the one you have right now.
Until next time,
A girl who doesn't have it all figured out, and is okay.
This is my blog. I Have a Voice. Whoa. Mind=Blown.
COPIED FROM CASEY ALLEN PROFESSIONAL RODEO ATHLETE FACEBOOK PAGE JULY 5th, 2016-
Ladies, please don't settle until you find a boy who looks at you the way your horse does.
Ladies, please don't settle until you find a boy who makes you smile like your horse does when you have a horrible day.
Ladies, please don't settle until you find a boy who is more concerned about your goals than looking like "relationship goals"
Ladies, please remember that God has a match for you out there, and just because you haven't found him yet doesn't mean he won't come along at any minute.
Ladies, when you're feeling lonely, when you're feeling down, when the "oh my gosh I'm so single it's ridiculous" feeling kicks in, walk yourself down to your barn, and spend some time with that four legged boy who will never break your heart, who loves you unconditionally, because you are his world. Let him remind you that you are beautiful, you are strong, you are so talented, because trust me, you are.
Ladies, please don't settle, because there are so many more amazing things in this world than having a boy hanging on your side.
Ladies, there's world championships to be won, there's records to be broke, there's goals to be smashed, and now is the time to go after them!
So to the ladies who know true love when they saddle up and run their hands through their horse's mane, know that butterfly feeling when they hear the announcer say their name, and know loving with their whole heart when they trust a 1000+ lb animal with their life, do not settle. Go out and live your life, run straight to the pasture, run straight to God, and don't slow down, because if the right man is ready, he'll be the only one that can catch you.
----- Right about now, you're probably asking yourself, why is this girl sharing one of her month old Facebook posts? Wasn't 4,413 shares enough? Where is she going with this? Why is she asking so many questions?
Okay, well if you would quit that asking I would get to my point. 4,413 post shares was plenty for me. Like, it was a lot! The post reach on that little snippet I wrote up one morning, after a boy (a gosh dang bull rider, nonetheless! You'd think I would have been smarter than that, right?) made me kinda really sad was over 566,000. Woah. Hold on.
(This is where most people stop and say, honey it was his loss anyway! He must have been a fool! I don't disagree....*EVIL LAUGH* *back to normal* Bless that poor boy's heart once he figures out I'm talking about him)
That was a weird side note... who put that there? Oh right... me! Hmm, oops! Anyways...
I'm going to cut this to the point (finally) instead of rambling, because some wheels started spinning in my brain. I affected people with that post, like, actual, real live girls! Girls across the world who were feeling the same way that I was, that just didn't have the words coming to their heart quite yet to replace any pain that was hiding there.
My words could make somebody's day a little brighter, make their smile a little bigger, make them feel not so alone. Now hold on, I am an 18 year old half child- quarter adult- quarter unicorn-gypsy-spirit from Pennsylania, and I can do that? So I started thinking to myself...
Why stop there? Why is a few motivational posts the limit? First off, those weren't my words. Those were the things God was trying to tell me that he allowed me to convey through some fast-moving thumbs on a keyboard. I, like so many other people, have this amazing God in my corner, and he's got big things in mind, so why would I do anything less than shoot for those goals, aim to influence more lives if He will allow it, and be relentless in what sets my soul on fire? Can you tell I'm all over the place with this? My brain is going so many directions, I can't quite contain the excitement I'm feeling. It's well past midnight as I hastily type this out from my bed in my pink pajamas...I couldn't wait 'til morning...but...
This is where I need you.
Yes, you, silly person who thinks they're just some random civilian scrolling around their internet machine.
I need you to embark on this journey with me, this quest to do good and smash limits. I need you to help motivate me, keep praying for those words you need to hear and I will keep praying that our God will give me those words to help all of us become better. I have all of these ideas swirling around and I am going to share them with you wonderful people if you will let me, this blog is going to be filled with tips to sharpen your mental game, sharpen your skills inside of the arena, strengthen your faith, and whatever else He calls me to share as I make my way through my first year of college. I want to help people of all ages, but I am going to gear a lot of posts towards my fellow youths. I want this to be big, like, my cat-broke-into-some-radioactive-substance-and-now-he's-using-the-beach-as-a-litter-box...........huge. (anywhere else I would apologize for my terrible sense of humor...but not here....wrong blog for that.)
Now, let's be real with each other,
Did you enjoy this post? Are you all fired up and ready to go out there and get em' with me? Or have you just quick-skimmed through it and are now happy that it's ending? Leave me some comments either way! I would love to hear!
-Until next time,